#ficwip

The choice of the word 'whisper' here carries the weight of an entire background story of that worry, fear, and helplessness for her son 🥺 One, single word yet it implies so much!

(I love that you mention he's fine :D When I read it on tumblr and then on discord I had a feeling something bad happened to him, best-case scenario he was in a hospital, and worst-case--also being in a hospital, but in a coma, or very close to dying. I'm glad he's okay and seems to not be so lonely any longer 💕)

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THE CONTEXT KILLS ME I thought this was like, some shy kid at school but nah mom instincts never go away I guess

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i feel mom feels something in the air... :3 and relieved her son isn't so lonely anymore. and if she's confiding it to the friend, she might have a good impression of him.

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wandering_fox

"Oh, it was a while ago," said Twilight. "One of our townsponies vanished. We were really worried. But, she did come back, and it's definitely her. She remembered everything she should--except how to be a pony, like you guys."
--The Void: The Magic of Friendship

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nicky_gabriel

Aww, it would be interesting to learn how they dealt with this situation, if it was already some time ago :)

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wandering_fox

With many shenanigans, I would guess, seeing as how the townspony in question was Pinkie Pie.

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Aww! Hopefully things ended up turning out well for her, sounds like the others had her back at least

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Oooh, I'm so suspicious 👀 Is Twilight sure the pony is alright? She forgot how to be a pony... That sounds at least worrisome! What must have happened to her? (If it's still her and not an impostor.) Ahh such a short excerpt, so many questions!

(I have now read your reply to Nicky) PINKIE PIE! Then something definitely happened to her :'D

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museaway

I really like the contrast of "everything she should" and "except how to be a pony." That really hit me hard.

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the last line throw me in a twist! the narrator also sounds surprisingly chill with casually saying this information, it makes the contrast even stronger. it feels like something it's definitely up in the town.

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That's intriguing! The townspony in question being Pinkie Pie really fits, and the contrast of her no longer knowing how to be a pony. I bet that was a time for the Mane Six. I wonder who the "you guys" Twilight is referring to are. Ponies from a different town?

P.S. MLP:FiM was my childhood. You made my day with this.

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“And they’d say the same?” He can’t stop each new worry from tumbling from his mouth. “They consider you a friend? You didn’t force that onto ‘em? Try to hurt ‘em? Nothin’ like that?”

There’s silence for a moment. Martlet looks over towards Dalv, clearly expecting a confident rebuttal. But he doesn’t deliver.

Excerpt from the in-progress chapter of my longfic!

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Oh nooo c': "(...) clearly expecting a confident rebuttal. But he doesn't deliver." Ouch, I physically feel the slow, slow, painful realisation settling in, like dread. It's written so well 💕

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museaway

Oof, that silence must sting.

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ooooh boi the silence. those are kinda serious accusations, so either he is fully confident he's innocent and don't need to explain himself, or the silence is the answer that's more disturing to hear. either way, great tension!

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His lips move soundlessly. 'Qi-ge,' he repeats, 'Qi-ge, Qi-ge, Qi-ge,' as if he’s worried he’ll forget, as if he’s committing Yue Qi’s face and name to the deepest parts of his memory, carving both the image and the words into his very brain, forever imprinted on the pupils of his eyes and the body of his tongue.

As if he wants even just a small piece of Yue Qi to stay with him.

Edited (added single quotation marks in place of italics) Date: 2025-12-03 10:48 pm (UTC)

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GODDDDDD this is just so raw and emotional I'm crying /pos

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Thank you 🥺💕 (secretly grinning to myself, I'm glad it came off this way!)

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museaway

This feels so melancholy to me. I tried to read it positively, but I get the sense that the MC doesn't usually get what he wants and is almost preparing for it to happen again.

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STOP THIS HURTS I can feel his despair and need to protect this one small thing like it's the whole world... hoping for the best even though it feels doomed :'''')

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Oof, that hurts. We know Yue Qi is probably not going to stay with the pov character, but it's all he wants. He wants to remember him, although he's likely going to forget him down the line. My heart!

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embraceyourinnerdork

In which our hero apologizes for being triggered:

“Yeah, well, I'm just weighing you guys down, aren't I,” he muttered, looking away again. “We should all be focused on a potential threat, but you're worried about me because I can't keep myself together. It's humiliating. I'd almost welcome these clowns coming alive because at least I could fight ‘em, but all I'm fighting is myself and it makes me a goddamn liability–”

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linky

You can really feel all of the emotions this character is going through!

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museaway

I agree with Linky, this has a fantastic punch to it!

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He's dealing with trauma and still worried about weighing the group first, i hope his friends support him! it looks like he really cares about them and he's doing his best.

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Wow! I can feel that the character has an immense sense of responsibility just from this bit of dialogue. He wants to be someone people can rely on and is blaming himself for not being that just for a small moment. I feel for him!

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God I felt this in my soul. You get the emotions across so well. Give this man a hug RN

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my vampires again, now making plans to run away together:

"Don’t worry, I also don’t want to die. Even if there is the risk...”

“I’m taking responsibility for that.” Solomon closed Karl’s hand into his own, holding it tight and feeling more grounded, despite the plan being wilder than any escape route he could have traced down.

Perhaps, because he knew he wasn’t alone in this.

“I’ll be worth your trust. That I can promise, Karl.”

Edited Date: 2025-12-04 12:39 am (UTC)

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Aww! What a sweet interaction! Solomon's promise assuring Karl that he's not alone. I'm sure with this alone that they make it away safely and together.

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AUGHHHH MY HEART I love the way this excerpt flows and how real their emotions feel

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Aww, the shared responsibility and the trust. Can't stop falling for that.

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This precedes the excerpt I shared for "fall" a couple of weeks ago. An excerpt from Kitty and Min Ho's break up.

“That’s on you. And let it be known, I’ve never forced myself to go out with you. I’ve always been genuine about my feelings. But you are right about one thing: you’re safe. I needed that.”

“What about now? Do you still need that?”

Kitty shook her head. She didn’t need someone who cared more about keeping up appearances than getting to know the person inside; she didn’t need someone who called her the exception, but then proceeded not to trust her friends; she didn’t need someone who made it seem like they hated when she chose what to do. She needed to jump and be unafraid of falling. Not worrying if someone would catch her if she did.

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Ohhhhh this is such a real feeling you're describing. The clear disconnect between what she actually needs and what the other person wants to give her is palpable. Love this

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Oh, good thing I woke up early, because this is a prelude to what I shared in the post for the word "money".
=-=

Yulia kneels next to Lara, making her flinch in surprise. Even as the worry she's exhibited over the past few days is stronger than ever, evidenced by her prosthetic arm shaking, she forges on. "I've been meaning to ask you that question for a while, Lara. I know I should've said it earlier, but…" She chuckles. "Better late than never, methinks."

"Yulia, what are you on about?"

Again, now or never — Yulia takes a deep breath, gently clasps her template's stone hand prosthetic and covers it with her metal one. "My Lara Croft, my whole life has been filled with pain and horror, but you have become my one and only shining beacon of hope. We may have caused untold suffering to each other, but against all odds, we managed to start a relationship I adore very dearly. I appreciate all this time you've spent with me, whether it's artifact hunting, relaxing at our home, and just you being there at my lowest points. So I ask of you, my utmost beloved swallow, will you marry me and be my eternal commander Croft?" Yulia flashes her genuine smile as an add-up to the speech's end, then removes her hand from Lara's, revealing a silver ring on the finger.

Edited Date: 2025-12-04 04:51 am (UTC)

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tenderizes

this is so sweet!! "my utmost beloved swallow" :,D
i'm not even in this fandom (nor do i know anything about it) but this has grabbed me By The Heart

thank you for sharing!!

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*(chuckles)* I am truly a master in showering the "FEELS!" with this pairing! :D

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embraceyourinnerdork

Oh, I love Yulia's way of speaking! The cadence and word choices really give her a unique voice.

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